"Smell my character sheet." --Teager
"My squid's bleeding, too." --Unknown; attribution needed. (Kurt?)
"So you know how they give pandas porn, in zoos, to help them mate?" --Mike
Red Sky at Morning Edit
"That is one tricked-out manse. Pimp my manse." --Teager
"I like my fleshy prison!" --Amber and Dax, in perfect unison
"Om nom nom -- Dammit!" --Teager
"While fun, [STing] is about as relaxing as taming hungry cougars." --Steve
"We are going to get eaten by a whale... because you don't use proper grammar." --Amber (Teager)
"[The Dolphin] is basically a fancy, technomagic, first-age golf cart." --Steve
"You hear the words... shit, I didn't write it down..." --Steve
"I'm big and opaque." --Dean (XP?)
[In voiceover voice] "VH1: Behind the Circle" --Teager
- Serentatis: I'm your lunar mate.
- Dax: Really? Can you tell me anything about my previous incarnation?
- Serentatis: I'm sorry, I never knew my solar mate.
- Dax: Yeah, I never really knew her either...
"Because sailors aren't environmental damage." --Teager
"Are you huffing tea?!" --Dean, to Teager
"I'm sure I owe you my life." --Fern, to the man who just healed her and doesn't know that he's her father
- Amber: Largo, there's a lesson you're going to have to learn, that not everything can be solved by force.
- Largo: ...So should I scare it? (XP!)
- Dax: Well, I'm not piloting this thing.
- Shahra: Obviously.
- Dax [defensively]: It's not obvious! I could be this bad!
"This is a really stupid idea, but I'm going to do it anyway, because that's just who I am." --Largo
"So we should go back to the Standing Stones of Cinnabar and walk up and down the beach?" --Teager
- Amber: "You know, Largo, your thinking grunts and angry grunts and sad grunts all sound pretty much alike."
- Largo: *shrugs* "You don't speak pridetongue." (XP!)
- Dean: "Magma crabs?"
- Everyone: "OW."
- Daryl: "Talk about picking up a burner..."
"Glorious Solar Teabag!" --Steve
- Dean: "When you can't punch a gay fortune teller..."
- Daryl & Steve: "What?"
- Dean: "Strike a happy medium."
"Syrisie, I choose you!" --Dean
"Can I go back to a save point now?" --Teager
Fury of the Butterfly's Wings Edit
"KNNIIFFE EEEYYYYEEE AATTAAAAACK!!!" --Daryl / Dan McNinja
"'My First Deathlord.' That's a terrifying baby book." --Steve
Comments on Largo taking out a nest of chakra orchids:
- Dean: "It's horticulture time."
- Steve: "Fullmetal Botanist."
"Okay. Salad shooter, Evel Knievel. Got it." --Steve, repeating Dean's stunt back to him
"Ooh, and I make it into an evil root smoothie. And I drink it up through the straw of justice." --Dean, stunting for Largo
"Hel-lo salad fork." --Alexa, stunting for Fern
"WTF, matey?" --Daryl, on Seatongue/Leetspeak
"'I'm gonna ask the lightning for directions.' You, sir, understand the Wyld." --Steve, to Dean
- Steve: Fern is not chewy.
- Dean: Fern is a cyborg. Cyborgs are not chewy.
- Teager: The whole band's drunk.
- Alexa: Even the automaton!
- [all laugh]
- Teager: Man, I don't know how Golden Rhythm puts them down, but...
- Steve: He's a machine.
(On the talking Zarlath Post-its) "Read me, Seymour!" --Dean
- Teager: He'd better not be a fucking mute.
- Alexa: I should hope he's not having sex in the middle of a Wyld zone!
- Teager: ...And that's how the Kama Sutra was written. We're done.
- Steve: Fern's a bit of a humanitarian.
- Alexa: Ironically enough.
"Metaphors be with you." --Bumper sticker (say it out loud)
- Dean: I ask the tree for directions.
- Teager: You wood.
"That's such a strange thing to ask of your captors. 'Can we get a guitar in here? ... And a baguette?'" --Teager
"Glorious Solar Shell-Game!" --Alexa
- Teager: ...and then [Amber] plays the bars of the cell, shattering them.
- Steve: I guess you would know the opening bars.
- Alexa: My footsteps are pretty loud these days.
- Dean: Yeah, we're gonna have to get you some moccasins soon...
- Teager: Or rubberize you.
"Things to do: Zerg rush the Silver Prince." --Teager
(On Cascade of Cutting Mooks) "It's rainin' men!" --Dean
"The rumors of my demise... are wrong." --Amber
- Amber: That's an angry grunt.
- Largo: You're learning.
"Johnson? Why is the Jolly Roger... pink?" --Steve
- Dean: I'm going to break him into manymanymany little ghost pieces.
- Steve: Four. [beat] Three scythe blades, so you're gonna break him into four ghost bits.
- Dean: That's a lot, to Largo. (XP!)
- Tepet Carian: So in the meantime, give singing lessons to the guy who was mute a minute ago. Right.
- Amber: You're a dear.
- Carian: Always.
- Steve: Air-Aspect Essence vents are being emptied into the water, making it freeze solid.
- Alexa: I see.
- Steve: Exactly.
"Jesus-Co. Makers of fine Jesus products." --Teager
- Atterum: Whatever ship you two are in charge of --
- Largo: Luthe. (XP!)
- Steve (talking about Taru-Kul and Syrisie): We like god-rocks.
- Dean: And cola.
"[The Recorder of Everlasting Glories]'s a Yak-Bak!" --Daryl
"When we last left our drunkards..." --Daryl
"You're Solars! You're so good you actually can solve problems with alcohol!" --Steve
"JESUS CHRIST IT'S A DAWN CASTE GET IN THE CAR" --Steve
- Dean: "Follow the Obvious keyword."
- Teager (singing): "Fol-low, fol-low, fol-low, fol-low..."
"JESUS CHRIST IT'S THE FIRST AND FORSAKEN LION GET IN THE COATL" --Steve
"You're a napalm sprinkler." --Dean
- Daryl: Put [Cat and Fox] on ropes!
- Dean: Spider silk!
- Daryl: Cat and Fox yo-yos! ...Battle yo-yos! ...Walk the dog!
- Dean, stunting for Largo: I go charging into them, scattering mortals and zombies left and right. Body parts everywhere. You know how war is.
- Steve: Thankfully, no, I don't.
"I lash his whip to the side as I nom it, and say... oh shit, I forgot what I was gonna say..." --Dean (as he pulls a Steve!)
"You do not need a dual-core Coatl." --Steve, on powering it with two PSVs
- Daryl, stunting for Dax: [The Abyssal] looks sad. I'm gonna give her a hug.
- Steve: ...What did we say about hugging Abyssals?
- Daryl: Oh, it's gonna be fun!
- [Words cannot describe how creepy Daryl's voice was on that last sentence.]
"His vertebrae look an awful lot like cello strings." --Teager, stunting for Amber
"I exploded the kinky guy!" --Dean
Hell and High Water Edit
"All you have to do to make the Bible canon is make Lazarus a zombie." --Dean
"No matter how stupid-powerful we become, we can always get stupider." --Teager
"Let's say that this dice bag is the bottlomless Well of Oblivion." --Steve
"[The Unconqered Sun] is basically Zeus." --Dean
- Dean: I'm stronger than gravity.
- Steve: Right. You jump out of the black hole.
"I store her [freaked-out Fern] in my backpack." --Dean
"Oo! Evil Febreze!" --Dean
"Are you corrupting the giant sword of doom and Internet?" --Steve, chiding us
"I don't sandblast my friends." --Alexa
"You guys are giving a hekatonkhire indigestion!" --Steve
- Teager: I bet Pestilence is only Essence 7.
- Steve: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE IT!
(On Largo's jumping speed, 120+mph) "Exalted. Why walk?" --Teager
"If there's anything Doctor Who taught me..." --Amber
"I'll go first and scare anyone... Amber, you're not the only social character!" --Largo
- Steve: "Mom! Amber keeps pinging me!"
- Teager: "Well, it's not like I have a choice!"
"Mars speaks Pridetongue." --Dean
- Daryl: Blame 4chan.
- Teager: It's like Canada, but real!
"I should ask them for directions. Like the lightning." --Daryl
- Steve: Leviathan's Tell wouldn't be visible if he were a penguin.
- Alexa hears: Leviathan's Hell wouldn't be visible if he were a penguin.
"I'm going to music the fuck out of this boat, so the zombie squid can't attack it. [beat] Exalted! It's like that!" --Teager
"[We're] moving at Mach Largo." --Daryl
- Alexa: I give the hekatonkhire a hug.
- Steve: Then it eats you!
- Teager: Not with space-hands.
- Steve: ...Then with space-mouth!
- Fern: He found part of himself hidden in a jar of whiskey.
- Dax: [sighs wistfully] In more ways than one...
- Dean: The Desert Lions aren't bloodthirsty murderers.
- Teager: Tell that to your Limit Break!
- Dean: Tell that to yours.
- Teager: Hey, I'm not from the desert tribes.
(On the tarrasque) "Picture Godzilla and the Cloverfield monster. Now, what eats those?" --Teager
- Amber: It's not that you're an awful person, Gaze... it's just that you have a bit of awful person inside you right now.
- The Colorless Gaze: I love you too, Amber.
- Teager: I reach into his backpack and pull out the key to the Imperial Manse!
- Steve: That requires more than one die.
- Teager: ...Did I say manse, or pants?'
- Steve: And then we'll have an entire clusterfuck of randomness!
- Alexa: That's the official term now. ... A murder of crows, a herd of deer, a clusterfuck of randomnesses.
- Steve: As far as hiking up the Imperial Mountain with a bunch of Solars and a hekatonkhire --
- Dean: And a couple of Lunars --
- Daryl: And a construct --
- Steve: [singing] And a par-triiidge in a pear treeee...
"So if MacGyver were telekinetic..." --Alexa, stunting for Fern
(On the dangers of volcano mines) "And when I say employee turnover, I mean like apple." --Teager
"I drink your tour guide! [slurping noise]" --Teager
"We have a Solar staplegun!" --Steve
"Monocles are not for flailing." --Dean
- Teager: Our focus is gone.
- Steve: Hang on a sec, I'm gonna stop this with my face.
- Teager: ...Our focus is gone.
"Q Spoon." --Steve
"Oh God. Lollipops with Immovable Rods... It'd be worse if it were Rods of Wonders." --Teager
"The problem with my current idea is that I don't like the stegosaurus look." --Alexa
"[points to Alexa] Totally respectful behavior... [points to himself] ...sassy comment... [points at Dean] ...grunt. Sums up the characters pretty well." --Teager
- Dean: It's like punching a marshmallow.
- Steve: You don't use up your arm strength!
- Dean: And your hand gets sticky.
"My character concepts for [Raksi]: Equal parts River [Tam] and GLaDOS." --Steve
Later: "Casting... We need Summer Glau as Raksi." --Steve
- Amber: You're starting to think like me.
- Fern: Excuse me while I beat my head against a wall until I've driven it out of me.
"There's always more kung-fu later. Don't you know anything about life?" --Dean
- Raksi: I could like you.
- Alexa: [little squee noise] ...YES!
"Killing the puppy at Home would probably have to be pretty permanent... God, it'd probably take geomantic engineering." --Alexa
- Alexa: My daughter's several thousand years older than I am!
- Teager: Welcome to reincarnation.
- Teager: ...And then there were vampires, and God, and mages.
- Dean: Oh, my.
[singing] "Kukla, Kukla, Kukla... I made him out of clay..." --Teager
- Teager: What is this, a 6%-drop-rate purple off the Silver Prince?
- Steve: I think it's reached 100% now.
- Dean: Well, he does respawn...
- Teager: Raid lockout on the Skullstone Archipelago is one year.
"Cogito, ergo nom." --Teager
- Alexa: You're a leaf on the wind.
- Teager: But I'm underwater.
- Alexa: You're a leaf on the current.
- Steve: You're a jellyfish on the wind.
(On Amber's recruitment tactics for the Iridescent Carillon's posse)
- Teager: "Okay, who wants a pay raise at the expense of extreme danger?"
- Dean: "Also, can you drive stick?"
"It's not helpful, but "delicious puppies" is five syllables." --Teager
"...I wish I understood me." --Teager
"I do so many little funny things, it's almost worth a big funny thing for XP." --Dean
(counting off haiku syllables) " 'Mmm, Solar puppies.' " --Teager
"It fits like sticking your hand in a melon fits." --Steve
- Teager: The "moose" [hand sign] means I'm OOC.
- Steve: Teager's a moose, Amber isn't. Got it.
"Let's go shave the manse."
Exalted sure can be weird.
"Three hats for the Fair Folk under the sky; seven for the Mountain Folk in their halls of stone; nine hats for mortal men doomed to die; one for the Dark Lord on his dark... Who made these hats?!" --Alexa
- Largo: "STAND. DOWN."
- Teager, teasing: "I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT."
- Dean: "No, no Sidereal martial arts here." (XP!)
- Dean: Is he wearing glue?
- Steve: That makes it rather difficult to be mobile in combat.
- Dean: Velcro, then?
"Where... is my hat?" --Teager
- Dean/Riptide: Then he was, like, "Whoaaa!" and why am I still talking... [loses train of thought] ...lips?
(Sejzha was a squirrel earlier. Now she's a sparrow.)
- Riptide: Where's that talking squirrel?
- Sejzha: Over here, numbskull.
- Riptide: ...Did you turn into a sparrow or something?
- Sejzha: What do you think?
- Riptide: ...Is that a trick question? (XP!)
"Courtesy! Integrity! Perseverance! Self-control! Indomitable spirit! SIR!" --Kai
"I just picture this water cooler!" --Teager
- Sejzha: There's a faerie in there asking for a job.
- Riptide: D'you think he'll get it? (XP!)
- Alexa: So frosted glass overalls and BFE. Got it.
- Steve: I am having the strangest mental images right now.
"The spiders -- they're everywhere." --Trunk
"Exalted bronchitis!" --Steve
- Trunk: So where are we off to next?
- Kurt: Pfft. I'm just the driver.
- Teager: [mimes key-fob] Beep beep!
- Dean: Yeah, except when you honk the horn of the Coatl, things die.
- Mike Gill: Please tell me I'm crazy and your weasel didn't just grow breasts.
- Alexa: No.
- Steve: Huh. Is that a beastman?
- Alexa: Yes.
- Steve: ...It's a weasel with breasts.
"So I draw back the bow and I spit on it." --Alexa, stunting for Sejzha
"We could give you the freaking Sword of Creation and you'd pick up a rock and hit something with it!" --Teager, on Takara's tactics
"You can bink!" --Dean
- Steve: This will encourage you to make new manses.
- Teager: We don't need any encouragement!
- Steve: This will encourage you to not have any hearthstones with rating less than 3.
- Steve: You can gain power by meditating here.
- [Kai takes up a classic "meditating" pose]
- Teager: Or by holding two baseballs.
- Steve: So you [Kai in First-Age flashback] are talking to this woman in front of you...
- [Kurt waves]
"Delicious mysterious omelets." --Teager
- Steve: It's like the Holy Hand Grenade without the plus.
- Teager: ...That's a cross, Steve.
"That's boring. Using an actual weapon to fight?" --Kurt
- Rey: I... concentrate.
- Teager: You turn into a can of orange juice.
- Sejzha: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio...
- Teager: What the fuck!? You can't quote Shakespeare!
- Dean: She came up with it independently.
- Rey: Except it's "Xor-ey-sho", 'cause Hamlet was originally Klingon.
"Did I just accidentally foreshadow?" --Teager
- Teager: Carbonite actually looks a lot like soulsteel.
- Alexa: Except without the screaming.
- Teager: Very loud carbonite.
Discussing Leviathan: "Are we talking about the fat-ass whale?" --Takara
On the Underworld's being outside Fate: "Where are your spiders now?" --Alexa
(On conversing with an ancient, noncommunicative ghost)
- Takara: Who's the broad?
- Riptide: Think she's dead.
- Takara: No, we don't care about you. What do we do?
- Teager: Takara, everybody.
"Go go sacrificial fire?" --Takara
(In accent) "Staunchly heterosexual." --Sejzha
- Steve: No. Also, it does not taste like raspberries.
- Teager and Kurt, together: Snozzberries?
- Kurt: Hey Steve. Say three unrelated words.
- Steve: Unicorn papaya mongoose.
"'Excuse me, sir. Your Essence is aesthetically pleasing. Would you like to get a cup of tea?'" --Kurt
"You did not Essence-fart." --Steve
"You are in a small room... no, a medium-sized... no, a large... you're outside." --Steve
"God, how many Solars does it take to screw in a light bulb?" --Steve
"'I believe they are called...' He pauses. Um... I pause." --Steve
- Takara: Fuck subtle! [Let's go in] Guns blazing.
- Sejzha: This from the Night Caste?
- Takara: ...Right.
- Kai: Yeah, [Riptide] isn't much of a threat. He really just talks too much.
- (Later, Riptide is telling a random DB about finding Herek in Malfeas)
- Riptide: ...and we helped him escape from my ex-boss --
- Sejzha: *death glare* Talks. Too. Much.
- Riptide: ...No, it's Riptide. (XP!)
"Okay, let's stop discussing this and you get rid of the spine." --Steve
- Sejzha: There is nothing I can do about the metaphysical connection between our Essence shards --
- Kurt: Giggity giggity.
- Steve: I'm not gonna break it.
- Dean: Famous last words.
- Steve: That's true -- [He breaks it.] Ow!
- Steve: Holy crap you have a fuckton of birds here!
- Alexa: Oh man, no one was singing to them!
"Oh, man, Raksi's got weird stuff in her head. Again. Fern, go hug her." --Dean
"Lytek?... We're also going to need refreshments." --Amber (XP!)
"You approach the Wyld zone. You can tell because there's a faint smell of bees in the air." --Steve
"...making a squishy but nonlethal squishy noise." --Dean, stunting for Largo
"It's Oddjob's sombrero. His summer wear." --Kurt, stunting for Takara
"So what you're saying is that the Usurpation is Jesus." --Teager
- Atterum: He does have a pretty good idea of your intentions.
- Amber: But not of their timing.
- Atterum: Mainly because you don't know that.
- Teager: ...Our chief weapon is surprise!
"Instead of bobcat, package contained Vermilion Legion. Would not buy again." --Teager
- Fern: We're going to need to approach this with some modicum of subtlety.
- Teager: (as if yelling down from the ship) "WE'RE NOT DANGEROUS!"
(On Kailani's healing punch) "Chiropractor? KAIropractor." --Rey
- Guard: takes a look up at Largo
- Largo: growls
- Guard: doesn't look anymore. Mumbles: I don't get paid enough for this.
- Steve: You [Amber] have more of an X-Men flavor than most of the Exalts.
- Teager: starts singing the X-Men theme
- Herek: nudges Fern in the snout to establish paternity
- Fern: looks affronted
- Herek: It's a Southern tradition.
"Lasers are brewing. (Insofar as lasers can brew.)" --Steve
- Steve: We are not using the battle wheel. This is freeform combat.
- Teager: We Win.
- Amber: Do we have any fighters?
- Viridian Breeze: Fighters?
- Amber: ...People who hit things. With sticks.
- Viridian: I thought that was your job.
"...to go up and go 'Guess who has the element of surpriii-iise?! ...Not us anymore.' and fly away." --Teager
(On Corona) "Congratulations. Our napalm is beer." --Dean
"Get to the chopper. I shouldn't have worn my pants this low."--Dean (as penguin-Schwartzenegger-guy)
"Luthe is the Roomba of the waves." --Teager
- Amber: To drive it, you need to *technobabble*.
- Verclia: Attune to it? Oh, okay.
"It is an island, isolated from other islands by copious amounts of water." --Steve
"I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm saying it's a terrible idea." --Amber, to Takara
"I'm not saying it's a terrible idea, I'm saying it's an inhumane idea." --Amber, to Takara
- Steve (after Largo begins charging Takara): Kurt, roll limit again!
- Kurt: That's three times in one session!
Cultivating the East Edit
- (Steve trying to come up with a name for a god)
- Steve: "Canus."
- Teager: "Like the dog?"
- Steve: "Polus."
- Teager: "Like the Greek?"
- Steve: "Manus."
- Teager: "Like the hands of fate?"
- Takara: I need to do something unpredictable!
- Amber: The only thing you can do to be unpredictable is be altruistic.
- Takara (before she finishes): I play dead.
- Steve: It's up to your knees.
- Teager: Not me.
- Rey: I fly.
- Kurt: Me too.
- Steve: It's up to Largo's... shins.
"We've done some ridiculous things... but right now we're fishing out a piece of oblivion using a giant set of tongs out of what is essentially a toilet." --Teager
"Maybe I should have used the tongs..." --Largo (XP!)
- Dean (re: the tongs): I'm wearing them on my back, I don't care how ridiculous it looks.
- Teager: Think of the stunts!
- Rey: Think of the botches!
Teager (as newscaster, over hypothetically leveled city of Great Forks): "Witnesses were said to reply that the perpetrators were doing their best to remain unseen. However, apparently walking about in broad daylight, covered in the sun's mystical material, covering their eyes and chanting 'You can't see me, you can't see me', proved to be ineffective." (XP!)
"Out of character, I say MURDER IS BAD!" --Kurt
"Is there a weapons suppository?" --Dean
"For effect, I'm foaming at the mouth."--Dean (XP!)
"Earl Grey is right below Silver Prince."--Dean
"We DO have magic duct tape!"--Teager
- "What do you do with a seed?"--Dean
- "I plant it...begrudgingly."--Kurt (ST's Choice: XP!)
- "How do we quote that?"
- "Forehead squid?"
"I am the fishmaster." "I am the baitkeeper."--Teager
- Rey: Where in Creation is Carmen Sandiego?
- Everyone realizes*: It's the Scarlet Empress!
- Kurt: The Scarlet Empress is a rabbit!
- Rey: Carmen Sandiego is a rabbit?
- Teager: That's a lot of cleavage for a rabbit.
Dean: As opposed to New Zealand/Malfeas slash...
Dean: I'm big. It doesn't fit. That's my stunt. (XP!)
- Takara: My name is Hayato Takara; I'm here to rescue you!
- Steve: Aren't you a little short for an Abyssal?
- Kurt: What I heard is, Steve gets to choose who's boning the Scarlet Empress.
- Steve: Such is the burden of the Storyteller.
Steve: I am not making underworld Hobbits!
- Largo: *slaps Takara*
- Takara: *dodges*
- Kai: *slaps Takara*
- Takara: *dodges*
- Amber: Takara, what did you do? You can't dodge social attacks.
Teager: Headparts, not your crotch!
Dean: I have my scythe; she has her face...
Rey: These *are* the hammer.
(about to go into more negotiation with the Mask of Winters)
- Amber: You two [Takara and Largo] are staying in the Coatl.
- Takara: You mean with the giant laser?
- Amber: You two are staying in Denandsor.
- Takara: You mean with the sentient manse network?
- Amber: You two are staying in the sewers of Nexus.
- Takara: You mean with the rat army?
- Amber: I can deal with a rat army.
Rey: Not such a good movie: All Maggots Go To Heaven (XP!)
- Takara *whispering*: I go that way.
- Amber *whispering*: Why are we whispering?
- Kai *whispering*: It seemed like the thing to do.
- Steve: So--
- Teager *whispering*: Steve! Too loud!
- Steve *whispering*: So--
- Kurt, Rey, and Dean *whispering in unison*: WHAT?
Largo: I'm not hungry. I ate earlier... two *weeks* earlier.
Serentatis (to Takara): Don't do anything rash.
The New Year Edit
Guy is the partridge. --Rey
Discussion of what Calibration corresponds to in our world: "Mardi Gras--but cleaner." --Dean
"These are elitist Tootsie rolls." --Teager
"Yes, and Santa Claus is real and doesn't kill people."--Rey
"There's like this fiery oscillation."--Steve
Session Thirty-Six, The Celestial Olympics Edit
Takara: Can we cheat and use our mind-recorder-things?
Amber: Let's put it this way: if you cheat, I'll kill you.
Kai (whispering to Takara): Cheat!
Kai: You know what? I concede.
Takara: ...DAMMIT! (Rey XP!!)
Steve: If "lalala, lalala" were "endoftheworld, endoftheworld..."
Session Thirty-Seven Edit
- "That's why we don't have company soccer games anymore."
- "I thought it was softball."
Amber: "There isn't a god to get angry with me."
"Instead of Coral, package contained Takara. Would not buy again."
"RIP... um, crap, I forgot his name."--Dean
Session Thirty-Eight Edit
Karn: "I have a question for you all--"
Takara: "I'm a pisces."
Largo: "Takara, you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Session Thirty-Nine Edit
Takara/Kurt: Why do we care about Takara?
- Amber: I think this will be good for him.
- Teager: I'm making it sound like we're sending Loras off to Band Camp.
- (After Takara and Amber have essentially blinded and deafened Octavian)
- Rey: We have a new name for you, Helen Keller!! (XP!)
Arc Title Edit
Session Forty Edit
Teager: You play a good mom... supportive, and condescending.
Session Forty-One Edit
Teager: HAT BOOK!
- Kurt: I can't imagine a codpiece going with a top hat.
- Teager: You didn't know many Eclipses during the First Age. (XP!)
Session Forty-Two Edit
"I shook hands with your house." --Amber
- Amber: *starts flicking her Appearance 11 on and off fast*
- Fern: *throws a blanket over her*
- (Re: Princes of the Fallen Tower, on fire, falling out of the Coatl)
- Amber: So we're air-dropping a wrecking ball on fire.
- Alexa: ...Actually, we get 12.
- Kurt and Dean: *start singing Ride of the Valkyries*
"Takara's the puppy that pees on the cat." --Rey
- Fern: It's made of teeth. And intestinal tract. And vast quantities of mucus.
- Kai: Why am I reminded of Takara?
- Amber: I want a pony.
- Fern: I'll make you a pony. Stop that.
- Amber: ...You can do that with sorcery?
- Fern: Wyld-Shaping Technique.
- Amber: I mean, make me a pony...
- Fern: Oh, I can do that too.
"You just filled me with hope. (And air -- thank you.)" --Amber, upon a) learning that they're fighting shinma and b) being tossed the Neverdrown Opal
"Love, vomit..." (makes so-so gesture) "Eh." --Kai
- Steve: "What do you want to change it into?"
- Dean: "NOT FIRE!"
"Sand-eye coordination?" --Steve
"'How you doin'?' 'Peachy.'" --Rey suggesting asking Takara how he's doing, currently a shadow surrounded by peaches.
- Kurt: I try to grapple the weirdness in the universe.
- Steve: You give yourself a hug.
- Amber: No, Takara, we are not going to do science that involves you stabbing anyone.
- Kai: Oo! Stab me! Stab me! (XP!)
"I peer into the next room in whatever way is fashionable." --Takara
- Amber: I would be willing to bet that this is an adamant -- an animant -- an adimite --
- Fern: Animate?
- Amber: --WALKING PANTS.
"A murder saved is a murder earned." --Amber, explaining to Takara
- "Little Buddy": Well, I didn't get to eat any of it!
- Teager: That's what they said at Nuremberg.
- Steve: Nuremburger?
"Do you know how hard it is to control a Millennium-Falcon-class with a mouse nipple?" --Teager
"Roll me rocket-boots." --Steve
- Fern: We are Not. Kathunking. The Realm. Defense Grid.
- Amber: No, no, it'll be the kathunker, not the kathunkee.
(singing) "Blow, blow, blow your motes..." --Kai
"Brainwashing over babies." --Teager
"Amber really likes science, but she only ever watches Mythbusters." --Teager
Session Forty-Five Edit
- Amber: So shall we go swim in icy cold water in search of something connected to me, or shall we go steal a war machine?
- Takara and Largo: WAR MACHINE.
- Takara, having snuck into an unattended warstrider: I AM YOUR WARSTRIDER GOD! BOW BEFORE ME!
- Random maintenance worker: *bows*
- Takara: YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE! (XP!)
- Takara: GO, AND LEAD THESE PEOPLE IN THE REVOLUTION.
- Random maintenance worker: Uh... against what?
- Takara: YOU KNOW, MY SON. NOW GO.
"I pull out a dagger, to be funny." --Takara
"It's not exactly a secret. You could have jumped anyone and gotten that information." -- Military commander, with Takara's dagger at his throat
*points at his head* "What he said." --Takara
"I AM FLIPPING YOU OFF RIGHT NOW. LOUDLY." --Teager
- Steve: You succeed in skewering it on your scythe.
- Dean: It's now on fire.
- Steve: (wonderingly) Oh! It is.
"Anyone who gets in my way, death. Anyone who doesn't, I ignore." --Takara
- Takara, remote-controlling an unidentifiable amorph: Holy shit-balls!
- Largo: Takara?!
Red Sky at NightEdit
"We are prepared to ride the Ebon Dragon like a mechanical bull." --Kurt
(On the sound of the Empress?'s departure) "That's not a good sound..."
- Tien Yu: Have you selected a sacrifice yet?
- Takara: (puts a finger on his nose)
- Amber: (mildly exasperated) Don't ride the Lesser Elemental Dragon of Earth like a mechanical bull.
- Takara: But... but it has a saddle.
- Steve: (Pasiap is speaking.) You feel heavy, hard words -- powerful words -- pounded into your minds.
- Rey: They're in capslock, aren't they?
(The party needs to do something inherently fiery to get past a statue.)
- Kurt: I flash it.
- Steve: You're not hot enough.
(Kai's in a tight spot and needs to dodge.)
- Amber: I punch Fern.
- Rest of the party: ?!
- Amber: So Kai can take the hit. (XP!)
- Steve: In fairness, we knew there was going to be head-bashing. He just specified the unknown part.
- Alexa: The method, if you will.
"I have Jedi-mind-trick, and horribly-agonizing-view-of-the-end-of-time. (Which is also Jedi-mind-trick.)" --Amber
"Elephants are unrelated to my narcissism!" --Amber
- Dean: Not the Pink Ranger, the acid sea.
- Teager: Same difference.
- Dean: It's like Alien, but cuter.
- Steve: Chest-barker?
"I feel like that's not the first time I've done that -- called dibs on an empty throne." --Kurt
- Amber: Was that honor you just exhibited, Takara?
- Takara: Don't tempt me.
- Amber: Ah. Arrogance. Par for the course.
(Re: the Penitent, activating) "We're fixing it! Did you not see the orange cones?" --Dean
- Amber: We need to calm them down.
- Largo: I'll leave that to you. (XP!)
- Rey: There's a quarry there now.
- Teager: I query it.
- Dean and Kurt: You query the quarry?
- Dean: What a quandary.
"Mother of the earth. [Gaia] would have bigger hips." --Steve
- Dean: I strap the squid-bat to the front of the submarine. Then, I start swimming in the opposite direction of the whirlpool, canceling it.
- Steve: There are about three reasons why that should never work.
- Teager: That's never enough reasons for Exalted!
"Would someone care to fling me into the maelstrom?" --Fern
- Largo: Should I punch it?
- Fern: Not yet.
- Largo: There's a 'yet'! There's hope!
"Look, I understand you wanting us to die..." --Amber
- Ocean Father: Solars are very artistic in their destruction.
- Amber: I am very artistic in my destruction. I can say nothing for the other members of my party. (meaningful glare at Takara)
- Takara: Hey, you should see the flaming rubble from above.
- Scarlet Empress: I'm not sure if they're lying to you, you're lying to me, or you're just stupid.
- Takara: Statistically, it's probably all three.
(The Scarlet Empress is about to stab an unconscious Fern.)
- Amber: Miss!
- Scarlet Empress: Dammit! Can't I get anything done today?
- Amber: Well, did you do your laundry?
- Scarlet Empress: ...You are from the same Circle. I can tell.
- (The power suddenly goes out.)
- Steve (from the kitchen): Ah, shit!
- (The power comes back on. Loud beep from the kitchen.)
- Steve: Fuck you!
(On a particularly weird inside joke) "This is not one of those times when you ask 'what'. You say nothing, you let it blow over, and you hope it burns out like a tire fire." --Kurt
"Okay, inevitably tell me why this is not a good idea, but..." --Takara
- Teager: Cake and death.
- Alexa: Cake for death.
- Teager: Ha! I like it, it sounds like a Deathlord food drive.
- Rey: A Deathlord charity!
"Takara shot first. And second. And third..." --Teager
- Takara: (Turns into a shadow) Quick, whisper into me!
- Amber: ...Maybe after this is all over. And I am very drunk.
- Takara: (Buddy-Jesus point at Amber) It's a date.
- Takara: See? I take my victims' teeth. (jangles his molar necklace)
- Amber: That's one more reason I will never sleep with you.
- Steve (Mask of Winters, re: cookies): These are quite good, actually.
- Alexa: What'd you put in them? Fresh blood?
- Teager: Mother's recipe, actually. No blood.
- Dean: Substituted jam.
"So yeah, I'm heading through its blood... intestine... stream... lungs." --Dean
- Rey: Show me [on the doll] where the Wyld touched you.
- Teager (leaning close): It touched me in the dreams and purple.
- Steve says: "...and a lady in a raven suit."
- Alexa hears: "...and a lady in a raisin suit."
- Green Lady: For the Smoldering Lord, I recommend water.
- Takara: (unzips his pants)
- You can rain... orbs... of //water// down on him!
- Like... raining?
"The laws of radiant energy no longer apply to him." --Alexa (Fern is Yu-Shan-Shaping)
- Amber: Oh yeah, we didn't get one of those.
- Takara: A blood ape?
- Amber: An explanation!
- Fern: Insufficient, Takara.
- Largo: No, that's plenty sufficient Takara.
"I can recognize the sound of [Largo] thinking from a mile away." --Largo's uncle
- Amber: Do we have a plan?
- Kai: We have the same plan we always do.
- Fern: I think we would appreciate the backup.
- Amber: Golden Rhythm, you're coming.
- Fern: As I'm sure you all know, we're mortal now. The spark of divinity that carried us through so many of our insane plans has fizzled out.
- Takara: And how.
- Amber: We are still ourselves --
- Takara: And how.
- Takara: I wish to be you.
- Autochthon: Brigid wished that once. It ended really awkwardly.
- Teager: The wish that spawned a thousand fanfics!
"God damn it! Living Calendar Prana? Who takes that?" --Karn
"It's like an oversized projectile food processor." --Mike
- Teager: [something about the Axiom of Choice]
- Kurt: God, it's starting to smell like nerd in here.
- Steve: You're three hours into your pencil-and-paper RPG and you say that.
"You're resting on the riverbank... uh, the oceanbank... the beach!" --Steve
- Largo: *taps Karn on the shoulder*
- Karn: *spins, ready to block*
- Largo: You shouldn't be looking at me. *meaningful glance over his shoulder
- Karn: *spins again, still ready --*
- Dean: Leviathan's fist is already in his face.
- Rey: Just for funsies, I run up to him and hug him while I'm on fire.
- Teager: Kai is the master of mixed messages.
Not in a session Edit
- Teager: Autochthon is like... okay, picture a car mechanic, but played by Morgan Freeman. 'My, my.'
- Steve: And he has a giant wrench!
- Teager: Why is the wrench cel-shaded but Morgan Freeman isn't????
"You just implied the presence of Autochthon-Fern slash." -- Teager
"I need someone to help me pour more sauce into the pan. I cannot do it, for I am a lobster-man." --Dean
"What about Chaotic Brie?" --Dean
"Logic dictates that you throw the sponge." --Teager
"[Chickens] don't contribute much to their ecosystem when they're wild, except as devices for converting grass into wolves." ~Teager
- Dean: R2-D2 is Autochthon!
- Teager: R2-D2 is Morgan Freeman!
- Dean: "Beep, beeep."
(On prehistoric RPGs) "thog need multiclass for that." --Steve
"Leelu Dallas multiclass." --Teager
(On the bar-gnawing Chinese thief) "Well, you can't put him in a regular prison." --Dean
Amber Melody: "Fucking. Metal." *throws up horns*
"Yes, well, [X] is our specialty." (where X is anything from chaos, war, rebuilding, singing, dancing, escaping hell...)
Adamant Fern: "I've got a spell for that."
"That can be arranged."
Largo the Black Lion: *low growl*
"Holy and piercing!"
Hayato Takara: "I pick up (insert random non-combative object) and throw it."
"Stab your enemy in the back before they have time to stab yours." - Personal motto
Kailani Pele: "Takara, STOP IT!!!"
Dax Stormslayer: "Crouchwalk!"
"I jump on its head and stab it in the face three times."
Twice-Blessed Raven: "I punch it in the face really hard."
Trunk of Withering Blossoms: "The spiders are everywhere..."
Sejzha Like the Brook: *turns into an X* (where X is some vaguely appropriate animal)
Steve: "You see a brightly glowing crystal..."
"When we last left our heroes..."